Trying again

I'm sitting here watching "Coyote Ugly", a favorite movie of mine, wondering why I like it because it really makes me feels kind of awful about myself.
I have 2 neices. One is 5 and the other 14. They are both beautiful, kind, funny girls and I adore them. However, yesterday I saw somethng that nearly broke my heart. My amazing 14 year old neice had written some thoughts she was having about herself, ending her statement by noting she needs to stop reading books about beautiful women.
This young woman just spent some time here in town and I had the privledge of seeing her a decent amount. She frolicked on the beach with my daughter, watched the 4th of July parade with me, played Just Dance with her brother and mom, my kids and me. Watching this stunning creature I could not help but marvel at the confidence she possesses. She is everything I longed to be when I was her age and yet there are times when she cannot see it. I wish I could make her.

Last night a friend asked me about the Tri. I didn't go on Sunday - I wasn't ready to see it. She asked how many days I cried and I told her I couldn't talk about it for 2 days and cried for 5 more. I also flipped off the signs on the side of the road until I realized what I was doing...
This friend has decided to aim for the Tri. I cannot even tell you how good that makes me feel. In fact, it made me feel so good last night I went out for a run. Sure it hurt, but I did it. I'm getting ready now, giving it another year to get going, do it right, lose the weight, nurse the wounds and go slowly. I feel like I'm starting from scratch but with the advantage of knowing what's ahead, if that makes any sense.
I have my trainer in the basement again so I can ride when I'm home alone with the kidlets, and often times my stepson runs on the treadmill while I ride and my daughter "lifts weights".We make it a family production and that really motivates me. My stepson is up to running a full mile at 5 mph, which he was not able to do just 3 weeks ago. He is working so hard at being fit and it's so awesome to see.

So I'm back in the saddle. I may never quite look like a Coyote, but I'll be happy with the work I've done for me.