If I had a...

If I had a band I'd call it Fat Patty and the BooHoo Gang. No particular reason. I just like it.
If I played the lottery I'd win. I don't know when, but I would.
And when I win the lottery I will do lots of crazy things but not get arrested or become a crack whore or any of the Curse of the Lottery things.
What I will do is finish my house, buy the land next door, build a garage and a patio and buy a nice, new truck. Not a fancy, sissy, I won the lottery truck but a nice, big, strong, tough truck. Lincoln don't make no truck like I want.
I will not pretend I can solve the world's problems and I will not expect all of mine to be solved. I will build a gym as an addition and I will have a trainer who will visit me every day and make me work out. I will travel but not just to see how much better I have it than others but to see my old friends who are so scattered and far away in all corners of the world.
I will set up college funds for my children and expect them to be used. I will live off the interest of my winnings so there is more at the end. I will not be ridiculous. I will build a fireplace in my home so I can get warm after splitting wood in the rain.
I will support my husband through his quest for a BA and master's and PhD.
And I will still not be cool. But that's ok.